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July 09, 2019 6 min read 10 Comments

I cried during most of the Wonder Woman movie. And it wasn't a discreet cry, either. It was a full-blown ugly tear-fest. I simultaneously shoved my face with popcorn I pilfered from my kid and convulsed with sobs. This, if you can picture it in your mind, this is what the aftermath of a life with an eating disorder looks like. For me, at least.  

I sat there crying, not because of any tragic plot twist, but because Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman devastated me. She’s beautiful and strong and empowering for women as a whole, yes, but I'd been hoping for something else. Something more. I'd been hoping that when they cast Wonder Woman, they would have cast a different kind of strong and beautiful—the kind I'd seen in the comic books I'd snuck from my brother's room as a kid. Fuller-bodied and classically Amazon: thick thighs. Full backside. Muscular shoulders and arms. Despite the fact I have not binged and purged or starved myself for almost nine years now, and despite the fact that it seems my teeth have finally ceased to chip thanks to the daily stomach acid baths, inthat moment inthat theatre I could remember exactly what it felt like to want to do anything to not be me. Staring at Gal, I remembered what it was like to want to disappear because, according to every single image of beauty I saw, I was not it. I wasn't crying, however, because I felt this anymore. I was crying for the girls and women who still do; heart-broken for them. Furious that mainstream cinema still can't seem to wrap its head around more inclusive casting. 

But that's another story.

What I am trying to talk about today is relative empowerment, specifically as it pertains to lifestyle choices and mental health issues. Even more specifically as it applies to eating disorders and intermittent fasting. Since the Fast & Furiously Fit Challenge onSweatflixand theFast & Furiously Fit ebook were launched earlier this year, I have seen many people comment that intermittent fasting at best not advisable and at worst absolutely detrimental to people with or recovering from eating disorders.

Theebook! You can get it for 30% off using promo code FASTED30.

For those of you I haven't got to chat with in theInsiders Groupor on other social platforms, I'm Hollay— BodyRock's Content Manager, and before this, a personal trainer and nutrition specialist. I am also an eating disorder survivor and someone who intermittent fasts—and I do so with great success. 

But I understand that this might not be the case for everyone. What I want to do here is lay the case for a perhaps unpopular, or maybe just comparatively under-voiced opinion. Namely, that intermittent fasting, which requires you to fast for 16 hours a day and eat for eight, may help you build a better, happier, and healthier relationship with food. 



Me, before and after I started intermittent fasting. Lost 40lbs and gained a load of lean muscle mass...and joy!

Intermittent Fasting: The Facts, The Fiction

It seems the main objection to intermittent fasting as it pertains to people with eating disorders surrounds the misconception that it requires you to starve or deprive yourself. 

The facts: By the time my eight hour eating window is over, I am ready to stop eating. Not because I don't like eating, but because after eight hours of almost non-stop eating, I am ready to take a break from it. Far from starving, I am replete. My cup runneth over.

Intermittent fasting doesn't restrict what you eat or how much you eat—you still need to eat all the dailymacronutrients your body requires to be healthy and strong—intermittent fasting restrictswhen you eat. In my experience, what intermittent fasting requires is an intense respect for food. When I was first trying to dig myself out of my eating disorder, this was the hardest thing for me to do: respect food, as vital and good and something to enjoy. Like any healthy diet, I still need to eat mostly healthy foods when I intermittent fast, but if I occasionally eat my son’s Skittles when he’s at school or more than the recommended serving size of Sean's amazingDIY Bounty Bars, that's okay. Because intermittent fasting facilitates a system of optimal hormonal balance for jacked up metabolic function, I know that these sporadic indulgences won't make a damn bit of difference to my results. The treats don't send me spiralling into the maw of negative self talk...or worse. I see food, more clearly, as something to savour eating. Even the less than healthy choices.Especiallythe less than healthy choices. I seldom feel guilty about eating anymore. This is huge, and it’s only happened since I started intermittent fasting a few years ago. 

More than the lack of guilt is the increased feelings of control over my food. And almost anyone who has suffered from an eating disorder can testify to the fact that control. Is. EVERYTHING.  But the sort of white-knucked, frenetic control that dominates eating disorders is not good. The control I learned through intermittent fasting is a calm, informed control; an “I know what I’m doing, no worries”, sort of control. So,  when it's 10pm and I have been fasting since 5pm and I think I may be hungry, it is immensely empowering for me to quickly review everything I ate all day (and it's a lot) and remember that I'm good: I've eaten enough. I may be bored, or thirsty, and I am almost definitely tired and should stop watching Jessica Jones and go to bed, but there is no way I am actually hungry. I ate enough. I'm good. And if I am truly stomach gnawing hungry and realize I really didn't hit my macros during the day, then guess what? I eat. I break my fast and eat an apple with a gobbing spoonful of almond butter. Or cinnamon raisin Ezekial bread with raw honey. I eat knowing that it's no big deal, since intermittent fasting is not a process that demands 100% perfection, just general consistency. If I only fast five days a week, I still keep seeing results in the mirror and in my mind. That old fear that would spike whenever I thought I might need to eat? It's gone.

Mind and Matter

It's gone at least in part because in addition to helping people lose fat and build muscle, intermittent fasting has been shown to help manage moods, increase focus and even improve sleep. Thescience supports these claims, but of equal importance (to me, at least), my experience supports these claims.

Yours may not. Perhaps you're reading this and you have an eating disorder and the very idea of intermittent fasting is so triggering it makes you want to crawl out of your skin. Then don’t do it. I respect this lifestyle is not for you. I have the same triggered response to keto, since it does restrict what I can eat and I spent most of my life feeling restricted about what I was allowed to eat. Moreover, I feel it that keto categorizes the restricted foods as “bad”, and in my healthy, disorder free life, there’s no room for the guilt that so often accompanies eating “bad” foods. But maybe other people don’t feel this way. Obviously, keto does work for many others. I think that’s great.

My point is not to knock intermittent fasting—or any lifestyle that promotes health and wellness—until you've really done your research (real research, not scrolling the comments), and/or, after speaking to your doctor, tried it yourself. Even if you don't have a history of eating disorders, you should talk to your doctor before drastically changing up your diet. I know many people intermittent fast without realizing it, since they skip their first meal, but it's always a good idea to talk to a healthcare professional who knows you anyway. It bears repeating: this talk is absolutely essential if you have or have had an eating disorder. I spoke with my doctor before I started and was given the go-ahead (but was also told to put it on hold when I was pregnant or nursing. There are other conditions that are not conducive to intermittent fasting. You can read about themhere). 

What matters, really, is that we appreciate the complexity of the human condition and avoid making overarching judgments about lifestyle choices. Even when those judgements are based on our experiences, it’s important to remember that we all experience things differently. There’s no single road to happiness.

If you want to try intermittent fasting and have got the green light from your doctor, start with theebook. Remember: you can get 30% off when you use promo code FASTED30.

10 Responses

Melissa S
Melissa S

July 09, 2019

Hey Hollay!

Thanks for the response, I appreciate your thoughtfulness and willingness to challenge how we think about life after ED.

Siobhan
Siobhan

July 09, 2019

I’m not really sure I’ve ever recovered from my ED, I think I’ve found ways to live with it and spend days trying to battle impulses. I’ve got the guide from Sean, I’m currently trying to commit to IF but finding self sabotage mode keeps kicking in. Your article hits home and I’m pleased you’ve found what works for you, I’ll keep moving forward and body rocking in the hope one day I’ll find what works for me.

Hollay.ghadery@gmail.com
Hollay.ghadery@gmail.com

July 09, 2019

Sorry, Melissa! Got your name wrong! I can understand that it would seem bias, but really, I’ve written about this and used innumerable resources myself and this book, I think, really is the best. But I could have given more context on my journey through a litany of subpar resources before the F&F ebook, so there’s certainly that criticism. I really do appreciate you taking your stance—and I also really love your point about resources for people who are still struggling. You are absolutely right. I also think you being critical of my intention is immensely important: it speaks to an astute awareness we should all have. Thank you!

Melissa S
Melissa S

July 09, 2019

Hey!

Hey Hollay, it was me who made that comment not Michelle.

I totally understand where you’re coming from and your example is valid but it’s like pitching the service of a ski service that you happen to work for. You also didn’t list any resources for people to access if they’re still struggling as this article could be triggering.
That would make the article less biased.

I still challenge your idea of this being an ‘opinion’ as it still feels like an unethical sales pitch without other resources to access.

Melissa S
Melissa S

July 09, 2019

Hey!

Hey Hollay, it was me who made that comment not Michelle.

I totally understand where you’re coming from and your example is valid but it’s like pitching the service of a ski service that you happen to work for. You also didn’t list any resources for people to access if they’re still struggling as this article could be triggering.
That would make the article less biased.

I still challenge your idea of this being an ‘opinion’ as it still feels like an unethical sales pitch without other resources to access.

Hollay
Hollay

July 09, 2019

Thanks to everyone who commented!
I wanted to take a moment to respond to Michelle S. who raised an incredibly valid point. I can absolutely understand how writing about this topic, in the context of a blog for a brand, can seem “icky”. Maybe after what I’m going to say it still will, but I want to say it anyway: no one asked me to write this. I did it of my own volition after seeing many people respond negatively to IF I’m the context of eating disorders and I think it does a disservice to an eating paradigm that could help people. The ebook mentioned I believe gives an amazing method to adopt this paradigm to the best, safest results. I wouldn’t tout the merits of doing a long haul ski loppet without guiding people to an expert/resource to learn how to properly prepare for it. It so happens, being in my position, I have an amazing resource at my disposal to recommend and can offer it for less. I get it: it’s a fine or perhaps just impossible line to tread, but I’ve written extensively about my experience for many publications and all the philosophizing in the world is pointless without direction. That’s what I was trying to do. Buy the guide. Don’t. My experience remains the same, and I hope it can help anyone.

Jung
Jung

July 09, 2019

Hi, perhaps a primer on eating disorders will be helpful in a future article. As for, IF, I think IF is great, however you work it in into your lifestyle. I usually IF the accidental way, just too busy to stop and eat and when I weigh my hunger with tasks, I prioritize my tasks. But I keep hearing about eating disorders as if prevalent and linked with the fitness journey. I think it’s important to distinguish that this is a mental issue and illness, and that there is first a level of ‘disordered eating’ before one reaches a level of diagnosed illness of a particular vein, such as bulimia nervosa.

Melissa Skowron
Melissa Skowron

July 09, 2019

Hi!

I’m also an eating disorder survivor and so proud of you for putting yourself out there.

I’m critical of the intention of this article. I’ve strived to make peace with my body and ignore the influence that diet culture has on my self-confidence.

That’s why the intention of this article feels icky. I’m used to companies using outdated standards of beauty to sell me things I don’t need. Now it seems that I also have to be wary of people using their shared experience of surviving an eating disorder to sell me something.

If this article wasn’t attach to a business, with promo codes and ads I would have whole heartily celebrated this article.

Michelle
Michelle

July 09, 2019

Great article, thank you! Related with a lot of what you describe. I have also struggles with an eating disorder and found that IF has really changed my relationship with food. It’s also helped me realize when I’m really hungry and when it’s “emotional” hunger.

Jessica
Jessica

July 09, 2019

LOVED this article, and your mindset on intermittent fasting!! Thanks for sharing your struggles and how you have overcome it! <3

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