Hey guys, today I am doing some Real Talk. I want to talk about something that just happened and which made me really feel the need to talk about criticism and all the nonsense we have to deal with on our fitness journeys.
Here's what just happened...
So, I posted a video, workout video, as I always do, and then somebody just came and posted the meanest, I mean, just the worst comment under the video.
It blew my mind how somebody, (A), would even put something like that, and it was so mean that it really hurt my feelings, and I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm not looking for sympathy, I've been doing this a long time and I've kinda got used to the fact that people just make comments, flippant comments, and they don't mean anything, but it is an opportunity to talk about comments, judgment and criticism.
It made me think about how comments affect all of us. We all go through that on a daily basis, whether it's from family or friends, etc., and I kinda just want to talk about that, really, about how judgment and criticism can stop us from moving forward, can change how we feel about not just ourselves, but how we feel in our bodies, how we're moving forward.
It can actually hinder your progress and I don't want that for you. Even though that comment affected me, I'm smart enough to know that those people don't know me, but not everybody can do that, not everybody can shrug it off that easily and it can affect you, and it can make you feel really sad.
So, let me go and get a few of the comments that I get posted about me and we'll talk about it, and hopefully this'll help us all move forward, and we can just talk about it.
The Worst Comments I Receive...
Okay, so I've taken five comments off my latest workout video, and it's important to understand that there's a lot of positive comments. I get a lot of positive comments and they're amazing, but there are a few comments that really hurt.
They hurt my feelings and these are really harsh, but then I get seen by a lot of people, so I get more comments, so I'm gonna get more of each. It doesn't mean that they're not gonna hurt me. They still hurt me just as much, just like when people make comments and judgments about you. If you feel insecure about that already, it's gonna hurt your feelings.
These are just some of the comments people make about me:
"Skinny-ass, fake bitch"
"Your muscles make you look like a man"
"You look like a fake whore"
Can you imagine somebody saying that about you? "Weak, skinny, eat a burger." They're just five comments, just on one video, from people who don't even know me, they've never met me before.
Dealing with criticism...
When you're having an off-day, you don't wanna train, you don't wanna eat right, you don't wanna do that. So, if somebody else externally, they're reinforcing that already-insecure feeling that you have, it's only gonna affect you even more.
So, how I get around this is, firstly, I take a step back. I take a step back from the comment and I take it for what it is. It's a comment, it's a flipping comment by somebody who doesn't know you. Even if they do know you, even if it's a family or a friend, I always say to myself, "Why would you say that? "Why would you say that to me? "Is this about me, or is it about you?"
And then, what I do is, I go and surround myself with people who know me, people who love me, people who make me feel good, people who support me, people who have seen what's in here, people who know me from in here, not from here. People who want the best for me, and that's not always family and friends, I get that.
Sometimes, the worst people around you can be family and friends, especially when it comes to, like, peer pressure and things like that. So, the amazing thing that I get is that my support network, it isn't just family and friends and close relatives, it's actually the world. Our community is my support network because we're all the same.
Here's the thing about our Community: We're not these negative people, we're not the people that write these things. We're the people that you go to when you need somebody to be there and pick you up, and support you, and make you feel good about yourself, and just give you that push towards the finish line when you feel down, when you feel, just, rubbish.
These are the people that you're gonna turn to. I'm the person you're gonna turn to that's gonna stand there and go, "You got this, you are all over this." Don't let negative comments, negative judgments take you outside of your focus. These people don't have your best interests. They're not out to make you succeed and there's a lot of people around you that, slowly but surely, as you change your habits, as you change your thinking and you change your eating, and you exercise more, there's a lot of people who want to sabotage you because they get jealous.
They don't want you to be happier and healthier, they want you to feel sad, just like they're feeling sad, or they want you to feel the way they feel, or they don't want you to change because your lifestyle suits their lifestyle, and that's just how it is.
But, once you step outside and you're brave enough to step outside, and you're brave enough to not listen to people like this, you can come into a positive environment where everybody's gonna give you the support and the love, and the encouragement you need. You will only move forward and everything you wanted to achieve will be there and you will get it, I promise you, because even on those days, on the normal days when your motivation is gone, they will be right there, online, showing you the high-fives, checking in on you, making sure you're okay, and these are people from all over the world.
Once you surround yourself with people who want the best for you, everything is gonna change, it's one of the most powerful things you can do. People who support you will get you to where you need to go. They won't let you fall, and that's what we do.
And I can honestly say, I've seen some of the most amazing transformations happen right in our community because it's safe. People will come in and they'll feel around a little bit, and they'll get to know people, and then they'll understand what this is. It's a safe place. There is no judgment, there's nobody that's gonna write the things that these people write, there's nobody that's gonna comment on something that you feel insecure about already.
So, once you understand that, the people that post the pictures of their befores, it's almost like they've shredded all of their insecurities, all of their negativity, all of the things that they dislike or almost hate about themselves, that gets pushed aside. It's just, "This is me. This is who I am, accept it," and the people that are in that community will accept it and they will help you get to where you want to be, but they do it in a way that's not gonna be you going in the mirror, and looking at yourself and going, "Ugh. "I hate this bit, I hate this, I hate that."
They don't do that, because if you're eating right and you're training hard, it's a happy accident that you're gonna get the results that you want, but you're gonna do it with people who are gonna make it so much fun. You're gonna have so much fun getting to your goal because this is such a happy, positive group of people, and they will help you if you're struggling with an exercise, if you're struggling with food, if you have, you know, something that you need help with, they'll be right there and they'll help you.
You just post and they will help you, and they will see your progress, just like I will, and they will be clapping you right to the finish line.
Before you know it, six months will have gone. You'll have made hundreds of friends and you will be in the best shape of your life, and you'll have done it with one of the most positive, supportive communities. It's unbelievable, the changes that we see and the strength that we see in people in our community, from all over, from young to old, beginners to advanced, men to women, they're all in there, but they're all in there with the same purpose, just to be in a safe environment where there is no judgment, nobody's gonna make you feel worse than you already do about some parts of you.
You don't need to be told the bits that you already want to change. You need to be told the bits that are amazing about you, and that's what we do. We encourage the parts that are brilliant, and we shred all of that negativity, all of that judgment, we shred all of that and we leave it at the door. And then, all we focus on is making you the best you can be by having the best time.
Does this sound good to you?
So, if this is something that you think, "Ah, I quite fancy that, I quite fancy to be a part of this," or you just wanna try it out, then come and join the BodyRock and Sweatflix.com community, just come and see what we're about. Come and see what we do, take part in a workout, throw somebody some love, and they'll throw you some love right back, and come and get in the best shape of your life, every single day, because I promise you, if you get a group of people around you that only want the best for you, there's only one way you can go and that's up, and that's where we're gonna take you.
Okay guys, I've got a challenge for you...
The Criticism Challenge
Warning: This is gonna take you being super honest with yourself. It's gonna take you really looking inside yourself and asking yourself, what are the three criticisms that either somebody said to you, or that you said to yourself, that are stopping you from moving forward?
I want you to write them on a piece of paper, say them out loud, be really honest with yourself, and then, if you're brave enough, make a video or just come and post those three things.
I don't wanna know who said it, I don't wanna know when it was said, I don't want anything like that. All I want you to do is put it out there. Put it in the Insider Group and leave it, and let it go, and that's where you're gonna leave those judgments, those criticisms, those things that have been holding you back, you're gonna leave them in the post, in that video, and you're gonna move forward.
You're gonna go online and you are gonna be shown so much love and so much support, and all these things that you thought were holding you back are just gonna be gone because people are gonna show you some support and you're gonna show them some support right back.
So, come on, get them down, get them posted, leave them in the community, and let's all move forward. I look forward to reading yours and I look forward to getting rid of these judgments that have been holding you back for so long.